


some kind of freak

by sxldato



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Blow Jobs, Enthusiastic Consent, Interspecies Relationship(s), M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Public Nudity, Semi-Public Sex, Tentacle Dick, i'm ashamed i can't believe i'm tainting this pure christian account with tentacle dick, sort of?????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 21:11:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11814261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxldato/pseuds/sxldato
Summary: Marrowfield is boring and Axton wants to make a bet.Or: The one where Zero is crazy good at his job.





	some kind of freak

**Author's Note:**

> well i can guarantee that none of y'all saw this one coming!! also, i'm so sorry  
> i've been playing a lot of borderlands this summer because i've been in a depressive episode since march and i have like 2 friends so basically this was inevitable as soon as i started playing it, i love my boy zero  
> as a formatting note, i didn't use the slashes that are in zero's dialogue in the game because it felt really abrupt and disjointed, but i was very careful about making his syllables in patterns of 5-7-5  
> title is from Say it by Flume ft. Tove Lo

“You wanna make a bet?”

“No.”

“I bet,” Axton continued, easing up next to Zero and pressing up against Zero’s side, “that you can’t make that shot while I suck you off.”

“I _know_ that I can,” Zero replied, still focusing down the scope of the large sniper rifle. “But I’m not taking that bet.”

The two vault hunters sat on a snowy cliff in Marrowfield, waiting for a caravan of bandits that had been causing trouble across Pandora, and were rumored to be passing through there soon. Zero and Axton had set forth for a stake-out—Axton with his turret, Zero with his sniper rifle. It was starting to get late, and true to Axton’s character, he was growing restless. Zero found it endearing in small amounts.

“I think you’re a bit of a wuss.”  

“I think you’re foolish.”

“You’re right.” Axton slid a hand over Zero’s chest, feeling the steady thud of his heartbeat and his warmth. “But I’m going kinda stir crazy out here, and I know the perfect thing to occupy myself with.”

“It _would_ quiet you,” Zero said, flashing a smile across his helmet to show Axton he was only poking fun. Whether he said it aloud or not, he enjoyed Axton’s company. “But I need to stay focused.”

“Thought you said you knew for sure that you wouldn’t have a problem.” Axton grinned, a little wicked.

Zero shook his head. “You’re so immature.” But he was spreading his legs apart all the same.

“You can never say no to a good old-fashioned bet, can you?” Axton said as moved to sit in Zero’s lap, avoiding banging his head on the rifle hoisted over Zero’s shoulder.

“Well, I always win.” Zero spoke like it was obvious. 

“Not this time, honey.”

Since Zero wore a full-body suit, Axton had to strip Zero naked from the neck down until the suit was around his knees. Staring at Zero’s completely exposed torso had him doubting how good this idea was.

“Okay, to be honest, I didn’t think that part through.” He didn’t want to run the risk of Zero getting injured, or contracting hypothermia, or some weird and terrible combination of both.

“I regulate my own heat,” Zero explained. “I cannot feel cold.”

“But also, you know, getting shot at?”

“Your turret’s a shield.”  Zero paused. “And we have you. I trust you.”

Axton couldn’t regulate his internal temperature the way Zero did, but he was suddenly very, very warm. “Oh.”

He pressed a kiss where Zero’s mouth would be, and Zero lit up with a series of slashed lines running across the center of the helmet—blushing, Axton had learned.

“I hope you’re ready to lose,” Axton said.

“Talking to yourself?” Zero teased.

“Fuck you.” But Axton was grinning, and he slid down to lay between Zero’s legs. “Hey, want me to be your tripod?”

Zero snorted. “How would you do that?”

Axton responded by putting his ass in the air, and Zero kicked the actual tripod off to the side. Axton felt the barrel of the rifle come down on his tailbone and wrapped his arms around Zero’s waist, dotting kisses along Zero’s hipbones and digging his fingers into Zero’s skin. He freed one of his hands and began to rub the head of Zero’s dick. All the while Zero remained still, one eye focused down the scope of the gun.

“You’re impossible,” Axton muttered into Zero’s lap.

In his younger years, before vault hunting, Axton had had his fair share of sexual exploits. But for all that experience, Zero was the first legitimate _alien_ he’d ever gone down on, and Axton wasn’t going to pretend it wasn’t weird. Zero in _general_ was weird, and his junk wasn’t an exception. His dick was hardly a dick at all; what Axton was stimulating now resembled a human clit, but when Zero got turned on enough it would extend out from inside him, revealing that the so-called clit was merely the head of a long thick tentacle.

So yeah, Zero was fucking weird.

Zero had also always been vocal in bed, so to get no response from him now was more than a little frustrating for Axton. He started licking and sucking on the head, that odd but pleasant taste leaking into his mouth. Even if Zero wasn’t making noise, it was still intimate; the heat from Zero’s body, the soft flesh of his inner thighs, their total exposure and simultaneous privacy and seclusion-- it was all making Axton dizzy with arousal.

Just when his jaw was starting to get sore, just when he was about to call it quits, he heard a nearly unintelligible moan escape from behind Zero’s helmet, and the tentacle slid out to its full length in a sticky web of its own lubrication.

“Aw, sweetheart.” Axton hummed and ran his hands over Zero’s thighs, which were starting to quiver with tension. “Relax. Lemme take care of you.”

“Stop moving your ass, Axton,” Zero said, and the tremble in his voice made Axton’s heart stutter. He stayed as still as possible, licking Zero’s cock and savoring the way it reacted to his touch. He was close enough that he could hear the erratic pattern of Zero’s breathing, could sink his fingers into Zero’s skin and feel the light sheen of sweat. Maybe Zero controlled his temperature, but in situations like these he always seemed to overcompensate. Axton had a feeling Zero would be dripping wet by the time they finished.

Axton swallowed Zero’s cock down to the base, and all the muscles in Zero’s body locked up as a gasp tore from Zero’s throat—but he hadn’t come yet. Zero would never let it be that easy. Axton pulled away and kissed Zero’s belly.

“You can always tell me to stop.”

Zero shook his head and, for good measure, removed one hand from the sniper rifle to run his fingers through Axton’s hair and guide him back down to his cock.

“I don’t want you to.”

In the distance, a caravan roared. Axton dragged his tongue along the underside of Zero’s dick and held Zero steady at the small of his back when he shuddered. The tentacle was slick and shining with Axton’s spit and the caravan was growing closer. Axton took him back in his mouth; Zero released his fistful of Axton’s hair and repositioned the rifle. His breathing was fast and shallow, but no longer erratic. The shaking in his legs died down. The caravan was all Axton could think about, and the sound of the engine was becoming white noise, deafening in his ears. What if this had been a terrible mistake? What if Zero got hurt because of a stupid bet?

Axton rocked forward with the recoil of the sniper rifle as it fired, followed by the screech of tires. He immediately sat up to look over the edge of the cliff, prepared to defend Zero— who was still on the ground with his suit around his ankles—if necessary.

Down below, the caravan was on fire. It must have swerved when shot at, because it was lodged in a rock formation at the side of the canyon. Then, in one beautiful burst of color, the whole damn thing exploded.

A rush of relief washed over Axton as he turned back to Zero, who was laying back and propped up on his elbows. His helmet had been tossed off to the side to reveal his four dark eyes. His cock was flushed and heavy with blood, turned up towards his stomach.

“You get over here,” Zero said, “and finish the job, soldier. Or else _I’ll_ explode.”

Axton got down on all fours and eased back between Zero’s splayed legs. “Guess you do always win your bets.”

Without a mission to focus on, Zero let himself go. The shaky gasps and pleasured moans were hilariously obscene, and they echoed through the canyon. It was driving Axton crazy. His own dick was straining against his underwear.

“Fuck,” Zero swore, _loud_ , and his hands were back in Axton’s hair. The pulling calmed Axton down a bit, reeled him back in; it was something else to concentrate on besides the arousal coiling white-hot between his hips. At least now he was sure he wouldn’t come in his pants.

Zero’s fists suddenly released, slamming into the ground as his hips bucked, and he _screamed_. Axton sucked him dry, swallowing everything, keeping Zero’s orgasm going for as long a possible. Once Zero was reduced to a twitching sweaty puddle, Axton sat back and wiped his mouth. He leaned over and kissed Zero gently on the lips.

“I’ve got you,” he said, rubbing Zero’s arm as he came down from the orgasm-induced high. Zero’s cheeks were deep red and the snow around him was thawing. “Take your time.”

After a few minutes of heavy breathing and cooling off, Zero sat up. Axton tugged his suit back over his hips and helped Zero into the arm holes, then zipped him up in the back. Zero took Axton’s face in his hands and kissed him again.

“You feel very cold,” Zero said. He thumbed at the tip of Axton’s nose, tanned skin turned pink from the weather. “You’ll have to wait for your turn. We should get you home.”  

“I bet I can last longer than you did.”

“Do you _like_ losing?”

“To you?” Axton kissed him quick. “Can’t say it’s all that bad.”

(Nobody said anything when they returned home with Zero drained of energy and Axton grinning like a madman; they all had a solid grasp of what had happened.)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on tumblr, find me at sxldati and feel free to leave requests in my askbox!


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